Suds: The Final Frontier
by Vash The Humanoid Sunshower
Summary: A swashbuckling adventure in ordinary life. Please review even if you don't like it :)
1. Mold and Mayhem

Suds: The Final Frontier: 

Author's Note: 

I hope you all like this. It's probably a little AU as it's vaguely somewhere during the series, though I did try and keep things in character. Thanks to my best friend Steph for the title 

I don't own anything. I'm not worth suing. That said...happy reading! 

Part 1: Mold and Mayhem. 

Thud. 

Duo awoke, silently reaching beneath his pillow to embrace the smooth handle of the pistol he'd stuffed there before falling asleep. 

Silence. 

He lay still, eyes opened to slits, peering into the darkness pretending sleep. 

No typing. 

Glancing over to Heero's bed was difficult through scarcely open eyes in the almost pitch black, but Duo managed. Empty. His warning sense was usually more accurate than this, hairs rising on the back of his neck, adrenaline pumping, pushing him into action. As of now, Duo was merely...concerned. 

Crinkle. Swish. 

A muttered curse. I'll kill you. 

Duo shifted his weight again, turning over, and a silhouette now in his line of vision, froze halfway out the door to Heero's closet. Duo opened his eyes completely, smiling to himself. Whatever was so offensive in the closet to rate the ire of the infallible Heero Yuy? Heck! What could be so secret to have Heero sneaking around in the middle of the night? He was up to something, Duo was sure. 

Heero was not a person one looked to for subtlety, no matter how many meaningful looks he gave on the subject. The boy was generally aloof, having more of a rapport with his laptop than people, even those who considered him friends. Besides, Heero wore spandex practically every day! Duo doubted very much could faze a guy like that. 

So whatever Heero was hiding was bound to be something interesting. 

"Hey Heero! What's up? Need a hand?" Duo sprung from the bed to his feet, almost reaching the boy before Heero flung himself out the closet, closing the door with a decisive thunk. 

"Nothing." 

"Aw, come on man! It's gotta be something." Duo smiled again, leaning one hand around Heero who was none to subtly blocking the closet with his body, leaning too casually against the door. 

"Mind your own business." Heero stood, immobile, his arms folded over his chest glaring. 

"Fine." Duo's voice was angry as he turned back to the bed to lay back down, but his eyes were determined. Just because his best friend was a taciturn jerk who didn't even trust him enough to tell him anything that didn't directly effect `the mission' didn't mean Duo couldn't find out. Of course, his code of honor forbid him from rifling through the boy's belongings while Heero wasn't around. `So', Duo thought, with an evil grin, `I'll just have to catch him next time.' 

*** 

Crinkle. Swish. 

Duo feigned sleep, snoring lightly as he waited, eyes slit, watching the closet door. The typing had stopped again and he could now see Heero's back moving as he struggled to get something out of thin closet. 

Oomph. 

Heero emerged at long last, with what looked like a half full trash bag. `Huh? I hope that isn't something he killed or something else illegal.' Duo thought, now very concerned. Heero may have been lacking in social skills, but he did know you didn't need to skulk about in the middle of the night to get the trash out. Normal trash anyway. 

"Hey Heero!" 

The boy whirled around, dropping the offending bag with a light thump. 

This time, Duo flipped on the light, flooding the room with brightness. Using the element of surprise, Duo quickly closed the distance, grabbing the bag from the floor and grinning. "Taking out the trash man. Cool, I had some stuff that had to go too." 

Duo opened the plastic, shuddering at the moldy odor that wafted from it. Green. Black. Grayish White. All were mixed together in a rancid stew of dirty clothing, spandex, tank tops, and socks. 

Duo turned to Heero, shocked. "Hey! When were you planning on washing these?" he asked, bewildered. 

"Can I have them back now?" Heero responded in a request that more resembled a threat. 

"I don't know if they can be saved man. Not without super extra strong detergent at least..." Duo said, trying not to laugh. Laundry, no matter how hopeless did not quite warrant the death glare in his opinion. 

"I'm not saving them." 

"Wait! You're just going to throw all your clothes out?" Duo asked. 

"I have more." 

"Right. It's not like tank tops and spandex are that hard to find, especially since it's getting on towards winter." Duo added, sarcasm dripping from his every word. 

"Yes." 

"You're serious, aren't you?" 

Heero was silent. 

Duo closed the bag, waiting for the air to clear somewhat. No wonder Heero had been acting so strange. He had to be one of the most independent people Duo had ever met. The guy set his own bones if he had the chance. If Heero was being this surreptitious about laundry, it probably meant he had no idea what to do with it. Running his hand over his braided hair, Duo came to a decision. 

"Get a coat on or something." Duo said, taking the offending bag of clothes and walking to his dresser to throw on something to wear. "It's about time I did some laundry anyway." 

*** 

Duo had let Heero find an all night Laundromat while he searched under the bed for detergent. The boy went at it with a precision that made Duo's head swim, calling up maps and building schematics, as well as the financial records for each. 

"Umm...which one is closest?" Duo asked, shimmying himself out from under the bed as Heero explained his results. 

"Wash'n'go." Heero stated, "But Laundromatic would better suit our purposes, as its location ensures it is unlikely to be used by Oz personnel. 

"Good enough." Duo responded, throwing his bag of dirty clothes over his shoulder. "Let's go." 

*** 

Duo stepped out of the door and into an armful of clothing on hangers. Blond. Catching his breath, he realized Heero's hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping fragile balance from collapsing into a mass of fallen fabric, plastic and people. Duo shifted back, pulling Quatre up as he caught his balance. 

"Laundry day for you too Quat-Chan!" Duo said, laughing. 

"Going to the dry cleaners." The boy responded, turning towards a linen sack, his arms full of various hangered items. 

"All of that?" Duo asked, dubiously, taking a moment to look at the sack that was at least half as tall as Quatre. 

"Yup." Quatre smiled, dropping the armful of clothing on top of the bag. 

"What?! Are you dry-cleaning everything you own?" 

"Of course. What else would I do with it?" Quatre asked, confused. 

"Let me guess." Duo added, with a long-suffering air, "That's why you're up at five thirty in the morning with all this stuff." 

"Yes. The nice people at the dry cleaners can get most of it done I arrive early. And I like to pick them all up a little snack, because they're always so kind to me." Quatre smiled. 

"Never mind. You're coming with us." Duo stated, in spite of the grim look Heero flashed him. "It looks like I get to introduce you to the all night laundry as well." He added, ignoring Heero's gaze. 

"Okay." Quatre said brightly, gathering the entire bundle into his arms again. 

"Was Trowa awake when you left?" Duo asked, `Best to get them all done at once.' 

"Oh, he was gone before I woke up." Quatre stated, shouldering the load with more ease than one would have expected from someone his size. "I doubt it was a mission though, he didn't leave a note." 

"Alright. I guess I'll just peek in on Wufei then. Wouldn't want him to feel left out." Duo grinned with a skip to his step. 

**** 

Muffled expletives could be heard even through the door to Wufei's room. 

"Guess he's awake." Duo muttered softly to himself as he knocked gently on the entrance, taking a step back. 

The door flung open. "Injustice!" Wufei didn't quite yell, but it came close. "This building does not even have such basics as a washer and dryer. How am I supposed to clean my clothes? The manager of this establishment should be..." 

"Good." Duo said, cutting him off. "Get your laundry. You're coming with us." 

"Where?" Wufei asked, annoyance warring with curiosity. "This had better not be another one of your hare-brained schemes Maxwell!" 

"We're going to the Laundromat." Duo sighed. `It shouldn't be this hard'. 

"Those breeding grounds of disease!" Wufei's onyx eyes caught fire as his voice began to rise again in righteous indignation. "I can't believe..." 

"Wufei." Duo whispered each word individually for emphasis. "You risk death in battle every day, now you're telling me you can't handle a public laundry?" 

"I didn't say that! I was merely pointing out..." 

"Besides, Heero endorsed it." Duo added, cutting him off again "The building's up to code, the business is financially solvent and uncorrupted by Oz influence, right Heero?" He added, not sarcastic, but close. 

Heero nodded. 

"Alright. If Yuy supports it." Wufei grudgingly shrugged his shoulders. 

"Great." Duo said, putting some brightness back into his tone. "Maybe we can stop for Ice-cream on the way back." 

"Maxwell!" 


	2. Laundromat Shuffle

Suds: The Final Frontier: 

Author's Note: 

I hope you all still like this. It's probably a little AU as it's vaguely somewhere during the series, though I did try and keep things in character. Thanks to my best friend Steph for the title 

I don't own anything. I'm not worth suing. That said...happy reading! 

Chapter 2: Laundromat Shuffle 

The Laundromatic was bright, clean, and thankfully empty. A lone employee sat behind the counter, head against her hand, staring through the television showing talk shows with fuzzy reception. Repeated whirring of a running washer could be heard from the back. 

Wufei strode in first, scanning the place with a critical eye. "Satisfactory." He stated after a moment of careful scrutiny. 

"Now Wufei." Quatre said, his tone mildly scolding as he struggled his handful of clothing through the door Heero had silently held open for him. "It's really quite nice. Good morning Miss." He paused, taking a second to peer at the tag affixed to the woman's chest, "Bradley" Quatre beamed. 

"Huh?" The woman, Miss Bradley, drug herself from her doze to smile back, somewhat confused at the blond child in front of her. "Just Denise dear." She added. 

`She hasn't been a Miss since before the first Yuy assassination', Duo thought with mild amazement. `Leave it to Quatre. No wonder those dry cleaners were willing to wash his underwear.' 

"So is this where we leave the clothes?" Quatre asked, turning his head towards Duo, brow furrowed. 

"We wash them ourselves." 

Quatre continued to stare, lost puppy stamped all over him. 

"Come on." Duo gestured towards the washers and started walking, hoping the others would fall in line. When reaching the washers, Duo pulled out four rolls of quarters, placing them with a clunk on top of a washing machine. "First you sort the clothes", Duo said, reaching into his bag. "Darks, whites and colors, got it." He demonstrated, placing them into separate piles. 

"I know how to wash clothes Maxwell." Wufei stated acerbically before stalking off to find his own machine. 

Heero proceeded to carefully remove each musty item from his bag, scrutinizing them individually before putting choosing a pile: black, white, or green. Quatre had a bit more trouble as he was trying to sort his colors into separate subsets by gradation: black, dark gray, gray, light gray, white, blue, dark blue, light blue, etc. Gentle prodding soon got him going in the right direction though. 

`Good.' Duo thought with relief as the sorting continued with minor incident. They seem to be handling this well enough. Now for the hard part.' 

While Heero did his best to pretend he wasn't interested even as he watched everything critically, Duo demonstrated when and how to put the detergent and clothing into the washer and where to insert the change. Setting everyone up with the heavy load machines seemed the best idea; Heero didn't have much clothing but it needed all the help it could get and Quatre was the closest to a clotheshorse a person with no permanent address had a right to be. 

Leaving them to pour their detergent with only minor trepidation, Duo then proceeded to start his own clothes spinning. 

*** 

"Umm, Duo." Quatre spoke in a small voice, interrupting Duo's trancelike watching of the spin cycle. Growing up where water was such a scarcity, Duo had a special love of the substance, drips, drabbles or torrents, he enjoyed them all. 

He didn't enjoy the slight note of panic in Quatre's voice as the youth began politely tapping his shoulder. 

"Yeah, Quat." 

"There's something wrong with my washer." Quatre pointed, his finger shaking slightly. 

Duo turned, a hard lump of dread settling in his stomach. The inside of the machine was completely white and suds were beginning to fall out onto the floor. "Quatre." Duo said very quietly. "How much detergent did you put in there?" 

"Oh, just enough to fill the little well on top." Quatre said, his voice beginning to sound uneasy. "I guess five or six caps full. The level kept falling before I was finished. I was careful not to fill the caps above the line though." He added. 

"One cap. One load." Duo said, his body shaking, characteristic grin a little frayed even as his eyes twinkled with....something. "Now go open the door to that washer before it explodes, and then ask the nice lady for a mop. You're going to have to move to another machine. Do you need a hand?" 

"That's okay. I think I've got one." Quatre grinned, his gaze turning to a deserted area of the room for a moment, he smiled again before determinedly walking towards the now shaking washing machine. 

`To each his own I guess.' Duo thought, turning back to watch his spinning clothes, but the interest had palled. Glancing over at Heero he caught a glimpse of the boy staring intently at his wash, which was thankfully not erupting in a mess of soap. Pulling himself to his feet, Duo ambled over to him. 

"Hey man. Havin' fun?" Duo asked with some forced cheer. 

"Hn." 

"You could have asked me, you know." 

"Hn." 

"You're my best friend." Half smile stationary on his face, Duo's voice lost any pretension of humor "I trust you with my life and you don't even trust me with your laundry..." 

The words trailed off into silence and they stood side by side, watching the clothing whirl. 

"Duo." 

"Yeah." 

"Injustice!" Tranquility was crushed with sledgehammer force. 

Both whirled around to watch in horror as Wufei drew his sword. 

"It ate my change!" 

Time dilated. Duo threw himself forward, attempting to vault over two laundry-folding tables and move between the offending dryer and Wufei's blade. 

Too long. Quatre was frozen, holding the mop almost serene. Heero was behind him, somewhere. The blade started to fall, then stopped, seized by something outside of Duo's field of vision. 

"You break it, you buy it." The voice was familiar, and as Duo rolled to his feet he caught the impression of a single green eye. 

"Trowa?" 

Trowa gave a slight nod, removing his hand from Wufei's arm. 

Wufei quietly dropped his katana to his side before placing the blade back in its spinal sheath. "My apologies." He mumbled almost under his breath. 

"Trowa?" Duo asked again, completely stunned. "What are you doing here?" 

"He was sitting in the back." Quatre inclined his hand towards a shadowed corner. "He does this washing machine cleaning also." Quatre explained. 

"Oh." 

"We really should apologize to Miss Bradley." Quatre added, looking pointedly at Wufei. "It's the only honorable thing to do." 

"Where is she?" Duo looked towards the counter but the woman was gone. 

"We should leave." Heero said softly, his monotone more grim, if possible, as his eyes scanned the counter. 

"But my clothes aren't dry?" Quatre complained, folding his arms, "They're barely done washing. Wufei just needs to say he's sorry for almost skewering the dryer and everything should be fine." 

"What is it Heero?" He might be paranoid, but Heero had good instincts. Besides, Duo could feel the hair on his neck rising. 

"The phone cord is reaching behind the counter and her foot is visible underneath. She's calling the police." Heero stated, matter of fact. 

"Let's go." Duo grabbed his bag and began heaping damp clothing into it. The rest followed suit. Scrambling with military speed, they were out in barely a minute with a "Sorry Miss Bradley" from Quatre as the door closed behind him. 

"Maybe we can get that Ice Cream now?" Quatre suggested as they ran in the cold light of the barely risen sun. 

"Naah." Duo said, with the faint hint of a grin. "Can't take you guys anywhere." 

*** 

"Duo." 

"Yeah." The boy paused, brutally tossing a pair of pants over the shower curtain to dry. "What is it?" 

"Thank you." 

Heero spoke quietly, his back turned, but the words still almost made Duo drop the rest of his wet clothing in shock. 

"No problem." Duo responded, for a moment just as serious, exorcizing a weight he hadn't even realized was there. "Of course," He added with a hint of mischief, "if you really want to thank me, you can go buy yourself a pair of jeans." 

End. 


End file.
